birth plans

Some of you out there know that we have chosen to deliver with a midwife rather than having an OB, and lots of people ask me questions about that, so I thought I'd clear the air a little ... First of all, no I am not going to deliver at home (at least, I don't plan to!). I don't think there's anything wrong with home-births, I've just seen too many complications and I want the security of being close to all of modern medicine, just in case. The midwives are a hospital-based practice at OHSU and they do all of the same pre-natal care and birth preparation that an OB would do, but they take a different approach. They view pregnancy as healthy and birth as a normal human process (rather than a medical procedure). This means that they approach the birth with the least amount of intervention necessary. A few examples:

• my midwife won't require me to wear a fetal monitor (straps around the belly that monitor contractions and baby's heart rate) unless there's reason to think the baby is in distress
• I'll be allowed to move around - in and out of the tub or shower, walk around, be in a variety of positions (rather than being confined to the bed with my feet in stirrups)
• They won't pressure me to have an epidural except in the occasional case where it's indicated
• I won't have an IV in my arm
• We'll be allowed lots of 'bonding time' and baby won't be 'stolen' right away for measurements and bathing
• the midwife is present to support both the parents throughout active labor, rather than showing up just to 'catch the baby' as an OB would

However, if something goes 'wrong', we'll be in the same birth unit that I would with an OB, and the full operating room, anesthesia, forceps and magic of modern medicine are right around the corner - hopefully just for peace of mind. Midwives aren't for everyone; some people like knowing that an MD is in control to keep them as safe as possible, but I strongly believe that this is something that my body knows how to do, and we want to go through the whole process with as little intervention and as few external distractions as possible. Joey is excited about our birth preparations too and says he is looking forward to being my "birthing companion" (very P.C.).

family ski trip

We went to Sun River for Christmas with the 'fam' - here's a picture of baby and me, cross country skiing through tons and tons of snow (if you look closely, you can see that my belly button has inverted - out-verted? - yikes)! It was a beautiful white Christmas and we were happy to have lots of down time to read, ski, and relax while eating Mom's good food. Baby had fun too (at least, we assume that all the kicking signifies happiness).

A fun new development: we have discovered that when baby is awake, we can ring a bell near my belly, and he moves in response! Further evidence that there really is a person in there!!

another climbing partner

Since we haven't been able to climb outside at all, we have had climbing-gym passes this fall. It's been interesting going once a week or so - we can watch my abilities deteriorate as my belly grows! My dad took this photo at our last trip because he loves to laugh at how funny I look, belly against the wall! At this point, there's almost nothing that's easy enough for me, so I'm about done with the rock gym. But for a while, it was a good way to work on my balance and adjust to my changing interaction with gravity - it's been a fun distraction. Hopefully in a few years, I'll reintroduce baby to the rock wall, and she will feel right at home :)

raining sunshine!

We had a beautiful baby shower in Wisconsin over Turkey weekend - complete with a chocolate fountain and organic strawberries for fondue. Joe says it was "spectacular, spectacular" (I think that's a reference to Moulin Rouge) And we got some very adorable little stuffed friends, clothes, blankets - you name it! These are some tiny little bamboo socks - perfect size for Joey's big toes! :) - a huge thanks to Katie, Mary and Lisa Nelson (and of course my M-I-L - G-ma-2-B)!!

big belly

okay - here we are - cozy and ready for bed in Chicago (visiting Pam!). yes, I know, what a difference a month makes!! aaahh - it's hard to remember being skinny!!!

reflections on introspection

I go to an intensely physical yoga class in a hot room. The teacher is fantasic and helps me figure out how to work with and around my growing belly; she's never had a student continue with yoga as far into their pregnancy so she says we are learning together (this is not your run-of-the-mill stretching class). So this morning one of the other thin, fit participants, unaccostomed to seeing big bellies, asked me "aren't you nervous doing this being so pregnant?"

In response, I was called to reflect on two dichotomous lessons that baby has taught me. The first profound (even surprising) realization is that "I know" - this might be my first child, but my body thousands of historical years' experience with pregnancy - it's inate. My body knows what it can do and what the limits are. Those limitations are changing every day, forcing me to constantly pay attention and take nothing for granted. Some days I can run for an hour, some days baby says 20 minutes is enough. The poses I could do yesterday might be uncomfortable tomorrow. I am changing so fast that it's hard for my brain to keep up, and if I had to consult an external source for every change, I'd never be able to keep pace. But I don't have to ask or look it up - I already know - I just have to listen. Maybe in some ways I've been practicing this for years by exercising and eating according to what my body asked for (not what my head decided); now I put more confidence than ever in what my body says, and it really isn't hard.

The second thing I've learned is that too many women allow medicine to take away their senses. People wait to share the news until they have "proof" by ultrasound of the growing fetus - evidence to me that medicine has too much control. In my first trimester people said "how can you be sure if you haven't seen a doctor yet?" I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt before the little pink-line test was positive because my baby and I are connected - literally. I started changing on day 1 and the developments are constant - I only have to pay attention.

So here's my answer: No, I am not at all nervous that I am doing too much. Yes, I have permission to run as much as I like (my baby gives me permission - or doesn't - on a daily basis). Yes, it's okay to bike (with slightly raised handlebars - making room for the belly), to walk to work (a little slower than I did last month), to go hiking (below 10,000 ft) or do intense yoga (with lots of modifications). No, a doctor didn't say it was okay - I didn't have to ask. Because we know, baby and I, what we can do, together. Some pain is good and some isn't; we've learned to tell the difference. And we trust that our instincts know best.

a first for everything

So I was grocery shopping the other day, buying Cheerios (no, not in preparation for having a toddler who likes finger food, but because I haven't grown out of that stage yet myself) - and one of the boxes had a kid book in it, so of course I picked that one. Then as I was standing in line, I thought "oh, holy geez, this is the first time I've picked cereal because of the 'prize' included" - yikes!