birth plans, part deux

Instead of doing the traditional Lamaze, we took a class in HypnoBirthing, which is more of an approach/philosophy. The name is somewhat misleading as it's not really about being 'hypnotized' but about staying calm and relaxed and not freaking out. The idea is that there is no physiologic reason for childbirth to be painful (there's actually lot of 'data' supporting that). Rather in this culture (not in many others), we create the pain out of fear - fighting against your body creates tension and the tension leads to pain, which makes us scared, more tension, more pain, no progress ... and then you get drugged. So the idea is that if you stay relaxed and work with the natural process, then there's no reason to be afraid, and no reason to be in agony.

In preparing for childbirth, my biggest goal has been to 'forget' all of the things I've seen and learned in delivery rooms. I have experienced an inordinate number of complicated, unpleasant, things-gone-wrong. So I have been trying to get ready for baby in the most un-medical way possible, and part of that means not thinking/talking about all the interventions to 'be ready for' but rather working on positive imagery, relaxation and being excited about my own innate abilities to do something that women for eons have done (without fetal monitors).

That said, no one can plan what a birth is going to be like, and we're open to whatever it brings. Although I've read some great stories about women experiencing birth with ecstasy, I definitely don't expect that it'll be either comfortable or fun, but I am really confident that with Joey's amazing support (and he is amazing, if you don't know!), it will be a positive experience for all 3 of us, no matter what happens :)

gender woes

I had a strange dream last night (I am very unaccustomed to dreaming by the way - this is a new 'treat' of pregnancy that I am sure I could do without, although I am not complaining because at least I sleep fine) - anyway, I was at some sort of medical facility in some foreign and very warm place (Costa Rica maybe?) - they were examining my large belly and said "I guess you know already that the baby is a BOY" - no, I didn't know ... and then I woke up distressed with the decision to tell Joe or pretend to be surprised at his birth. Huumm ... not sure if this means my body is communicating the baby's gender to me while I'm sleeping ... or if it just reflects my growing anxiety about not having chosen a definite boy name. Here are the front runners (in no order), feel free to weigh in:
- Isaiah Anthony
- Cedric Joseph (Joe's favorite - at least the Cedric part)
- Quinn (middle name undetermined)
- I like Everest (per Tia's suggestion) and Gabriel but Joey said no.

Hollywood stars ... a step behind

I learned in the checkout-line headlines yesterday that J. Lo. recently had a baby shower ... a high tea! Naturally I had to read the story and found out that my own tea party shower was far superior to hers :) They had mini hamburgers and green apple martinis ... doesn't even start to compare to this amazing spread of mini sandwiches and individually crafted (and delicious, I must say) tiny treats. Here's a picture - and a belated thanks especially to Pam, Marissa, Eduardo, my mom and Aunt Margaret for hosting such a lovely party - and to Joe, the waiter with a bow-tie :)

birth art

I'm reading a book about a birth class / philosophy called "Birthing from Within" that is designed to help women (and the guys) recognize (and get over) their ideas about birth. The theory is that our society gives us lots of terrible images about the horror of something that is actually quite normal and natural (and not necessarily very painful, if approached in the right way). The book encourages practicing 'birth art' as a way to get in touch with your hidden fears and replace them with positive images. Although I generally consider myself exceptionally un-artistic, Joey and I have done a few projects together and we've both been surprised by how fun it is. So here's my faceless little indigenous clay lady - an image of strength and openness and a reminder to me that childbirth is not something to be feared but a part of the universal human experience.

birth plans

Some of you out there know that we have chosen to deliver with a midwife rather than having an OB, and lots of people ask me questions about that, so I thought I'd clear the air a little ... First of all, no I am not going to deliver at home (at least, I don't plan to!). I don't think there's anything wrong with home-births, I've just seen too many complications and I want the security of being close to all of modern medicine, just in case. The midwives are a hospital-based practice at OHSU and they do all of the same pre-natal care and birth preparation that an OB would do, but they take a different approach. They view pregnancy as healthy and birth as a normal human process (rather than a medical procedure). This means that they approach the birth with the least amount of intervention necessary. A few examples:

• my midwife won't require me to wear a fetal monitor (straps around the belly that monitor contractions and baby's heart rate) unless there's reason to think the baby is in distress
• I'll be allowed to move around - in and out of the tub or shower, walk around, be in a variety of positions (rather than being confined to the bed with my feet in stirrups)
• They won't pressure me to have an epidural except in the occasional case where it's indicated
• I won't have an IV in my arm
• We'll be allowed lots of 'bonding time' and baby won't be 'stolen' right away for measurements and bathing
• the midwife is present to support both the parents throughout active labor, rather than showing up just to 'catch the baby' as an OB would

However, if something goes 'wrong', we'll be in the same birth unit that I would with an OB, and the full operating room, anesthesia, forceps and magic of modern medicine are right around the corner - hopefully just for peace of mind. Midwives aren't for everyone; some people like knowing that an MD is in control to keep them as safe as possible, but I strongly believe that this is something that my body knows how to do, and we want to go through the whole process with as little intervention and as few external distractions as possible. Joey is excited about our birth preparations too and says he is looking forward to being my "birthing companion" (very P.C.).

family ski trip

We went to Sun River for Christmas with the 'fam' - here's a picture of baby and me, cross country skiing through tons and tons of snow (if you look closely, you can see that my belly button has inverted - out-verted? - yikes)! It was a beautiful white Christmas and we were happy to have lots of down time to read, ski, and relax while eating Mom's good food. Baby had fun too (at least, we assume that all the kicking signifies happiness).

A fun new development: we have discovered that when baby is awake, we can ring a bell near my belly, and he moves in response! Further evidence that there really is a person in there!!

another climbing partner

Since we haven't been able to climb outside at all, we have had climbing-gym passes this fall. It's been interesting going once a week or so - we can watch my abilities deteriorate as my belly grows! My dad took this photo at our last trip because he loves to laugh at how funny I look, belly against the wall! At this point, there's almost nothing that's easy enough for me, so I'm about done with the rock gym. But for a while, it was a good way to work on my balance and adjust to my changing interaction with gravity - it's been a fun distraction. Hopefully in a few years, I'll reintroduce baby to the rock wall, and she will feel right at home :)