number two

Lots of people told me I would take fewer pictures of the second one, that I would pay less attention, that everything would be less impressive because I have seen it already before. Miles is 1 month old today (and weighs 10 lbs already!), and I think it's almost the opposite. With Adelaide, I felt as though every stage was the new "forever"; although I knew that she would grow, some of those late nights, the "oh-dear-God-is-my-life-now-over?" moments seemed as though they were the new permanent reality. I had no idea how fast she would change, and how much I would miss each stage once it was gone. Now I know. And this time, I feel desperate to experience and appreciate every single moment. True, I have taken fewer pictures. But I've been too absorbed in our new precious little guy to set him down and find the camera (or do anything else, for that matter!). Now I know how fleeting each moment is, and I know that it won't be long before he runs off to play with no time for snuggles. So I am living it up, maximizing all possible time with my little 'blob' before the magical perfectness of this newborn stage is over. Yes, the second one is different, it's a bit less of a roller-coaster, but (so far at least) certainly no less thrilling.

baby hair no more

Ada got her first haircut (well, trim, to cut off the fine baby-hair-tangles) on Friday. She sat bravely in the chair, though refused to smile until it was over! She was happy to discover that hairs don't bleed when they get cut, and even more happy to find out that combing her hair no longer hurts! One more "first" out of the way for little Ada.

sled dog

Took Ada and Miles on their first cross-country ski trip last weekend. We have a sweet new "rickshaw" to pull them. (Someone said to me, "you are like a sled dog." Yes.) Miles swelled to at least half his size with all the layers he had bundled around him. We all had a fantastic time, and "the 2" were such great troopers. I am excited for the day when they can keep up on their own power, but until then, this makes for outstanding family fun!

Miles the cat?

A great philosopher once postulated that babies are like kittens. Although Joe is very optimistic that Miles will one day demonstrate cat-like-speed-and-reflexes, at this point, all I can confirm is that he has kitten eyes. For the first days of Miles' life, he never opened his eyes! I occasionally saw one or the other (most often the left), but never both together. Today (Miles is now 5 days old) was two-eyes-day!! Hurray! After days of straining with his eyebrows up, he finally got them both to cooperate at once, and now I have confirmed that he not only has two matching eyes, but also that they focus together -- success! (however fleeting). Hilariously, when he manages to get them both open, he gazes around with the most startled, confused expression. It seems he thought he had this place all figured out, until - shock! - a whole new dimension in sight.

introducing Mr. Miles!!

After a few frustrating false alarms, Miles Joseph sprang into the world at 8:26am today. Once he decided today was the day, he didn't mess around: we were at the hospital exactly 9 minutes before he arrived, long enough to make it to the birthing suite (barely, and only after running down the triage nurse in the ED), but not long enough that the nurse had time to ask my name!! Joe says little Miles is announcing his Nelson-ness: late and in rush!! He weighed in at 8lbs 1oz, 21in long. Lots of brown hair, but too short to be curly (yet). After a few short hours of intense excitement, we had quite a mellow day together. So far he's got a great disposition, and the most adorable little expressions. Oh, and all 10 fingers and toes.

Ms. Adelaide, for her part, is the most excited big sister imaginable. She just couldn't wait to meet her new little brother, and talked non-stop about his tiny fingers, soft hair and her favorite part, the "funny belly button" (aka stump). She asks about every 30 seconds if he needs a diaper changed yet. Hurray!! I couldn't be happier! :-)

pregnant women are people TWO

No, I am not miserable. No, I am not going to pop. No, I do not know if today is the day. Yes, I am still pregnant. And, believe it or not, I'm feeling pretty good about it. My new perspective is: what's the rush? I only have a few weeks of my life to enjoy being about as wide as I am tall, and accumulate all the excitement (and empathy) that goes with that. So I am living it up. I figure, how lucky for me that I am not swollen or sleepless or plagued by any of the other terrible 3rd trimester problems that most preggos face. So, I am enjoying this time with my belly and my family, before things change again forever. Might be this week, might be next; hopefully won't be two weeks from now, but if so that'll be okay too.

Adelaide, on the other hand, is very ready and quite excited to be a big sister. Little Ada is at such a great stage right now; she's figured out imaginative play, and she's expressive enough to narrate everything she can imagine. The interplay is hilarious. She's been preparing her doll for how to be a big sibling to the baby she imagines is in her own belly! Yesterday, she settled her baby doll into the car and informed me: "this baby girl is getting so big, she's ready to be a big sister now. When she came out of my belly, she was so tiny, but now she's big enough to be a sister and she's ready for the baby to come out of my belly." I love it.

Happy Halloween!!

I'm still pregnant!! And Ada is still a strawberry.
I had to work in the peds ED on Halloween (while my family went trick-or-treating at the zoo), so I wore a pumpkin on my baby, and generated a lot of laughter.

The fantastic thing about having a belly this large is that my brain doesn't remember that the belly belongs to me, and I run into things! Especially in close quarters, I often look at a small space, and think: I can fit ... but I don't!!

see Ada read

We hit a new linguistic breakthrough in the past couple weeks. Adelaide has been working on learning the sounds that letters make for quite a while, and she's reliably identified her favorites ("o" and "s") all over town for many months. But recently, she's figured out that the sounds string together to make words. Better yet, she's realize that we string the letters together to know how to read to her.

Each of her favorite books right now has an associated letter to "practice". Fiona Loves the Night holds the distinguished honor of her first sounded-out word: plop. She very reliably identifies p-l-o-p, in rapid succession, p-l-o-p, p-l-o-p, over and over. A huge first step!

A funny anecdote: this week she and Joe were sounding out words in a book about body parts. They got to "knees" and Joe tried to skip it (as the silent "k" is pretty confusing). He said, "this is a hard one, let's do the next page." She patted his shoulder sympathetically, nodded her head in earnest, and encouraged, "No, it's okay, you can do it! Just try!" Knees.

baby priorities

There are plenty of rotten aspects to being in residency while being pregnant; let's just say it's not a combination I would recommend to anyone wishing for life balance or sanity. However, as I am just in the thick of my toughest rotation of residency, which is perfectly aligned with the toughest part of being pregnant, I have been trying hard to keep perspective and focus on the silver linings. This pregnancy has been all about remembering my priorities, and only bothering with the important things. This means that I remind myself everyday that the only things that really matter are to get my job done (as efficiently as possible so that I can get home) and to spend time with my family. Fortunately, the tiniest of my family members comes along everywhere I go, so the two of us get lots of little moments to share experiences. Every time Roo jumps on my bladder or tries to push out my belly button, I think, "hi little buddy, I know you are in there!" while I push back on the little parts that stick out and make me look lop-sided. Time with the little one isn't hard to come by these days, but unfortunately I can't carry Adelaide with me all the time. So these last few months I have been learning that it's impossible to fit in all of the things I wish for, and I have to prioritize the big ones. Time with Adelaide is essential. And, at least occasionally, thanking my husband for holding down the fort and being full-time Dad / housekeeper / cook / savior -- this also is essential. All the rest -- just details. If the dishes don't get done, or I miss my exercise time, or I don't do any of the reading I had planned, well, there's always next year for those things. I am learning that working 80-hours per week and having a family is enough! This is a good lesson, because it makes me so thankful when I make it to yoga, cook a healthy meal, talk to a friend, or when I get caught up on my reading. These things don't happen all the time anymore, and almost never happen simultaneously. But that's okay. For a short while longer, life is all about getting through the work, making the most of moments at home, and absolutely cherishing the rest. I am learning a lot in residency; one extracurricular lesson has come from being forced to challenge and define my priorities, which is a good lesson, one that I hope I remember after life lightens up on me.

summer activity

The weather always seems to turn to "fall" just as the school year starts; perhaps it knows that we need help adjusting to the back-to-school routine. The JAM family had a very active and busy summer. Little Roo is constantly on the go, turning, kicking, swimming, you name it; never a dull moment. I hope this kid sleeps more on the outside than on the inside! For now, I'm very much enjoying the not-yet-powerful fluttering that serves as a constant reminder that I am not alone. But hopefully s/he slows down over the next few months if those movements get any stronger! I'm not sure how much more 're-arranging' my insides can tolerate...

Adelaide in the meantime has become quite proficient with her little tape measure, calling out numbers ("eighty-two, nine" is a favorite) as she sizes things up, and she has a mini-sized wheelbarrow that she uses to tote gravel around, thanks to helping Joey with a series of very extensive house/yard summer projects.

She also worked hard to keep up her reputation as a tiny traveler. This summer she ventured to South Dakota (via motorhome, which lost 2 wheels on I-90! prompting her comments like "Grandpa, slow down! the wheels might fall off!" with perfect timing during the last few months). Ada also went on her first canoe/camping trip and absolutely loved paddling around wearing her little red life jacket (tragically, we forgot the camera on that adventure) . And she made it back to Wisconsin to visit her grandparents and cousin Sam. Thanks partly to him, she is very excited for "our" baby to arrive. When we talk about baby coming and all the things s/he will do and need to learn, she often says, "... like Baby Sam?"

All of us are getting excited for her little sibling, and I am feeling more confident that she's going to handle the transition well. However, we recently visited a friend with a new baby. Ada was entranced: wanted to hold him, change him, sing to him, examine his little hands ... but when he started crying, she knew just what to do, "put he on the ground!"(pointing to the concrete patio). Maybe she's not ready to babysit yet :)

baby yoga

Although I haven't kept up with my yoga class as well during this pregnancy as I did with Adelaide, these two are making up for it. We got our 'fetal anomaly ultrasound (and yes, baby's gender is still a mystery). Actually we got two of them because they couldn't see everything on the first one. Baby Roo is sure cute; it's great fun to watch him squirm around. While we were watching, baby reached her hands up over her head, then down to grab her toes -- baby yoga!! Baby looks healthy, so far so good.

Back at home, Adelaide had a yoga adventure of her own. She likes to pack a little bag with whatever toys or snacks she has available, and march around the house, announcing that she's 'going to yoga' now. Last weekend, she took up doing yoga exercises on the floor, and slipped and cut her head open. Finally my many years of school had a good use: no emergency visit for us. I just went to the hospital, got skin glue and steri-strips, and fixed her head while she was sleeping. $250,000 in training, and I saved us $300. Well worth it, no? Maybe I should have been a yoga teacher.

June adventures

June was the most exciting month ever. I finished internship (hurray!!!!) just in time, as another week might have pushed me over the breaking point.

Adelaide got a visit from her Grandma Nellie and Aunt Lisa, and she ate up all of the attention. As you'd expect, she was a good adventurer and took them around town to her favorite places as well as up to Mt. Hood. The first day they were here, I prepared her to be alone with her visitors while we were at work, saying "Grandma will take you on an adventure." Adelaide quickly retorted, "no, five adventures." And they did.


Then we embarked on a family road trip to some of the sights of Southern Oregon. We went to an animal safari, dipped our toes in Crater Lake, shopped every cute shop in Ashland, slept high in the air in a tree house "treesort," and generally had a lovely time with a very relaxed agenda.

Although I shouldn't have been, I was surprised what a fantastic traveler little Ada is. She had a blast and was such a fun travel companion. She sang made up songs in the car ("goodbye to the giraffe ... we're going to a hotel ... we're on a vacation trip") to the melodies of her favorite tunes. She napped when I told her to, tried lots of new food, stuck right by us in the "don't-bring-your-kid-in-here" stores, and didn't mind the mosquito attack. She even learned how to hold a napkin under her peach in the car so no drips got to the carseat. People say it's hard to travel with a toddler, but we are very fortunate to disagree.

baby culture ... times two

Adelaide has recently burst into the Portland cultural scene. First, Cirque du Soliel "the circus," which she loved (Marissa and U.T. help her recreate the acrobatics on chairs act, to which she proclaimed "that's not safe!"), and she's now been to an IMAX production as well as her first theater movie! All went well so we are on a roll. Joe and I feel like we are regaining a little piece of life that we've missed for the past 2 years. And just in time ...

I'm now 18 weeks along with baby #2 (better known as Baby Roo). Roo, unlike Ada, has thankfully been quite stealthy. Where Adelaide announced her presence in my body with a fleet of drama and a myriad of symptoms, Roo has been particularly quite for the first 4 months. No sickness, no sleepiness, no vegetable aversion; I just quietly became two. In fact, I am just now starting to believe that s/he's there (because my belly becoming quite prominent!).

In addition to feeling very thankful that she didn't cause me much grief during the already overwhelming past few months, I'm cognizant already that they are very different babies, and will be completely different people. Perhaps he'll have dark straight hair, or not say a word until he turns 3 ... maybe she'll need lots of sleep or be a picky eater. How exciting that the second one holds as much mystery as the first! The only things for certain is that this baby is already determined to be different than his or her big sister, but I'll do my best to encourage Roo to be just as adventurous. Here's my first official "new baby" picture, with my dad. No big belly yet, but we are 3 generations on the summit of Mt. St. Helens (in a white-out).

because we love our family!

Two great stories from the past month: 1. We recently went for a long run on a gorgeous blue-bird day. Nearly an hour in, we got caught in a torrential downpour the likes of which Portland rarely sees. Having little alternative, we just kept going. (Adelaide's running stroller has a rain shield, but of course we had left it at home since the sun was so bright.) We all got sopping wet. Adelaide never complained, and when we got back to the car, I expected to find her feet would be wet from sticking out from under the canopy, but I was horrified to find that the vent behind her head had been open, so she had a stream of rain water that poured over her red curls and ran down the back of her shirt, leaving her sitting in a puddle. Feeling like a terrible mother, I picked her up, "Ada, you are all wet! I am so sorry." Like the trooper that she is, Adelaide gave me a hug and a sideways look, and said with a grin, "it's just water!!"

2. I have been working lots of night shifts lately, so we all eat an early dinner together, Adelaide helps me pick out my "hospital pants" and we say good-bye. Last week, we had a conversation something like this, "Are you going to hos-i-bal?" "Yes, I am going to the hospital." "Why are you going?" "I have to work tonight." "Why do you work?" (pause ... I have been asking myself the same thing lately ... masochism? Insanity? Because now I am so far in debt I'm not sure I have a choice ...) Fortunately, she answered for me, "You go to work because you love our family??" Yes! I have no idea where she got that, or what that means to her, but what a great answer!

terrific 2s

Well turning 2 certainly poses it's challenges: Adelaide is more opinionated, fiercely independent, and all the more determined to assert herself. But so far, "2" is anything but terrible. This is certainly the most fun age she's been; every moment with her is a treat. A couple of months ago she mastered the ABC's song (which, my mom was quick to point out, I could not sing in it's entirety before my 2nd b-day) and she loves to sing it (or anything) at the top of her lungs, complete with "em-o-mem-o-pee" and "dougle-me, x ...". She figured out that Twinkle-Little-Star and Baa-Baa-Black-Sheep all follow the same tune, and she switches between the 3 songs line-by-line sometimes. (How did her parents make it to this age without noticing that, and she figured it out so early? Music lessons are paying off!).

She's also been working hard on pronouns: me, you, I, my. With a few silly exceptions, like "you tuck my in" ... she's pretty much got it mastered, and she loves to practice. Absolutely everything is a conversation: "I like apples. You like apples? I give you apple to eat!" A constant stream of pronoun practicing. This is great for everyone as I no longer have to refer to myself (or her) in the third person. We talk like grown-ups! Although the days when she did whatever I wanted (without bargain or negotiation), were a bit easier, the sparkle of her little personality more than makes up for the 'terrible 2's'.

Easter "hot dogs"

For some silly reason, Adelaide calls all forms of candy "hot dogs". This has origin in the similar appearance of a wrapped caramel to a little plastic hot dog in her grandparents toy kitchen set. One of the few limits she has not bothered to challenge in the past few months is the restrictions on eating "hot dogs". She has learned (and we haven't corrected her), that Dad, and occasionally Mom, Grandma, or Papop eat "hot dogs", and Adelaide does not. Last weekend's Easter candy extravaganza afforded many opportunities to reinforce these notions. Adelaide loves to find "hot dogs", sort them, unwrap them, and deliver them to anyone whose mouth is in reach. At Easter brunch, she diligently opened every piece of candy she could find and hand delivered them to everyone in attendance. With no discouragement whatsoever, she never put one in her mouth but delighted in offering them to us; "Marissa want hot dog?". If she ever gets curious enough to taste them, she may discover that "hot dogs" are better eaten than shared, but so far it's our secret! Or perhaps one day she'll try real hot dog, and then we'll really be in trouble!

Adelaide turned two last week. This is a huge milestone as I no longer have to measure her life in months; now she's just TWO. Appropriately, her favorite new phrase is: "I'm a kid! Not much baby, no!" In celebration of her birthday we spent a few lovely hours at Grandma Mary's farm: chasing chickens, gathering eggs (Adelaide was so excited to throw the eggs into the bucket), holding the baby lambs and bunny, watching baby chicks, feeding the llama, playing in the hay loft, and riding on the tractor (after a few rounds in the tractor trailer, I asked Ada if she wanted to drive with Grandpa: "No. Ada drive by self."). It was a lovely time to spend together and such a great celebration of her life.

This past year has brought as many changes and developments as the year before, but much more settling as well. She's now a truly integrated part of our little family, and she's growing into all that personality. My favorite moments are when the three of us play on the floor together and Adelaide's favorite "family hug". On the rare occasions that Joe and I have a chance to be alone together (as wonderful as those moments are), I feel as though a small part of our relationship is missing. People said that I would forget what life was like before she was around, and that definitely has not happened (I remember my pre-baby independence all too well!). But I have forgotten how our marriage used to be when there were only 2 in the family, and I am already starting to wonder what it'll be like when she doesn't need us anymore -- if I'll adjust or if I'll always feel incomplete when she's away. Spending so many hours apart this year (as a result of my crazy residency schedule) has taught us to take full advantage of the smallest moments together. I hope that, as our lives get 'easier' over the next few years, we don't lose the ability to appreciate each other and enjoy the simple times we have together. Moving into her 3rd year of life, I am still so thrilled to be able to witness her development and to be learning together through the challenges.

Mastering Temporal Relationships

Ms. Adelaide is quite an organized little girl. Dirty clothes go in the hamper; books belong on the bookshelf; and the milk goes back in the fridge after you pour a glass. Lately she has mastered the concept of "time" (at a really young age, I think) and she loves to review the organization of time. Her conversations are full of "yhess-a-day" (yesterday) and "ta-marrow" (tomorrow). Of course, she doesn't realize the either of those are discrete time frames. Rather, "yesterday" represents all that has happened before the last time she was asleep, as far back as she can remember, up until just before she took a nap. And "tomorrow" represents all that is in the future. Interestingly, she's also figured out that "next time" means something may come again, though it's not clearly scheduled.

This comes up often in reference to cats. We have several friends with cats whose homes Adelaide loves to visit. So whenever we see a cat - a neighborhood cat out the window, or in our many cat books - she reviews the possibilities. Her monologue goes something like this: "a cat! Ada go Tia's house, see cat hiding!" or "Ken, Andy cat today!" or "This cat name Mike ... yesterday go Crystal's house, see Mike!" or "Eduardo cat ... next time see cat." She has many favorite cats, all over town, that we don't see nearly often enough for her liking. But they do provide a good conversation piece!