5. The attention: This is likely the closest I'll ever be to a celebrity. Everywhere I go, people smile at me, random strangers start conversations (on my walk: the totally-grunge with headphones in his ears and untied laces who I least expect to make eye contact with me, "hey! there's a baby in there! what kind?" with bright eyes and a huge smile - guaranteed he'd never talk to non-pregnant me). Whether male or female, young or old, a majority of the people I encounter no matter where I go, are interested in my belly, and it makes them happy! I never have to sit on the floor, or stand on the bus. I always get first priority in line. And any stupid things I say are attributed to "baby brain" as if it wasn't my fault! Although I don't always love the attention, it's pretty fun at times, and very shortly, I'll never again be as special, or earn as many smiles, as right now!
4. The leeway: my unrealistic expectations are totally reasonable. For example: over the summer when I was working nights, Joe would take the kids out for breakfast so I could sleep. One morning he brought me something cheesy from a bakery, and I complained, "please only bring home healthy food, nothing fatty and gross like that." The very next day, they got breakfast burritos, and I was appalled that he didn't bring me one. Although the contradiction there is obvious, when he relayed this story at our weekend camping trip, he got no sympathy: there was consensus that I should change my mind at least daily, and that he should anticipate my indecision. For the non-pregnant, it's hard to get away with that nonsense!
3. The human body is amazing, and the journey towards motherhood must be one of the most fascinating of all human abilities. To gain (and hopefully loose) almost 40 pounds in just a couple of months, to double my blood volume and cardiac output, to triple my abdominal girth, to drop my immune system sufficiently to allow another person to inhabit my belly without rejection, all while (mostly) continuing to function like a normal person ... any of these feats would alone be absolutely incredible, but in the context of pregnancy, it's all just par for the course. Not to mention all that labor and delivery business of getting the baby out into the world. Incredible. It's such a privilege to be able to experience this.
2. The company: each of these 3 have shared a different part of my pathway towards becoming a doctor, and each of them have been valuable companions at tough times. They have shared lots of study time, long hours at the hospital, scary and sleepy call nights, and starting my first real job. Having a little wiggling being in my belly, a little foot to hold under my ribs, is like the grown-up version of an imaginary friend or a security blanket that comes everywhere - 9 months of an internal support system who provides constant companionship, always agrees with me, and occasionally has a good idea that I get to take credit for. I'm going to be a little sad when I'm all alone again.
1. New life!! Absolutely the best part is knowing that there's a new person, about to join our family and the world, with every possibility still possible. Will this little person be kind or smart or thoughtful or silly? Will he be athletic or artistic or studious? Will she one day be president? Or learn to belly dance? For such a brief moment, I have the ability to nourish and nurture this person, and hopefully start him/her on a path to become a valuable citizen in the world. The responsibility is so enormous that I'll still cry in terror if I think too much about it. But this great responsibility starts so simply: I am growing a person!!
We are trying to relish these last few days (moments?) with Miles and Adelaide in harmony, before the balance is again upset to make room for another. And I am trying to treasure my co-inhabitant, before a new chapter of life begins. I'm already a little nostalgic that soon my last little one will start his/her journey towards independence, and the joys of pregnancy will be only memories.
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