out = in

It's December, which means Adelaide is 9 months old. This is quite a milestone, as she has now been "out" as long as she was "in". And both of us have changed as much in these past nine months as we did in the first nine. For the first nine months, we were becoming more and more each other - I was getting used to her being a part of my life, and a part of me, and for these past nine, we've both been growing into our independence. I now feel like myself again (mostly), and she has become very much her own person - likes, dislikes, opinions, character. She is so interactive and plays lots of games: finding objects that we "hide", and hiding herself in peek-a-boo, 'grunting' responses to Joe's grunted questions, takes things "out" and now puts them back "in" as well! She gestures toward things she wants and pushes my hand when I offer her something gross. And I have an increasingly hard time convincing her that it's a good idea to do something she doesn't like. Quite a strong will in her mature little character. At our 9 month check up last week, Adelaide weighed in at 17 lbs 2 oz and 27 in tall. It's incredible that she has sprouted up from nothing in such a short time, and equally amazing the physical and emotional (hormonal?) train ride that I've experienced. So here I am, officially joining the legions of parents who say "having a baby will change your life forever"!

aaahhh!! a snowman!

I am leaving tomorrow to do the first of my residency interviews in Minneapolis (where the temp is -1F in the daytime!). Perhaps Portland felt inclined to help me prepare by delivering our first (possibly only) snowfall of the year the day before I go.

Joe and I were excited to bundle Adelaide up and take her out to romp around. As you can see, she didn't enjoy our little snowman nearly as much as we did, despite the fact that we made it exactly her size. Oh well - maybe playing in the snow isn't fun until it means you get a day off.

I am thankful for one tiny girl.

I am happy to report that Adelaide is getting over her (very healthy and normal, but still annoying) fear of strangers. For her first Thanksgiving day, we went to her Great Uncle Ken's house, along with about 30 other family members, and Adelaide did just great - she even sat with "strangers" (to her) during dinner and smiled at everyone. Hurray!!

Of course, the highlight of her day was the three dogs - a pug and two wieners - and we got a lot of laughs watching her try to chase them around. She crawls pretty fast these days, squealing and giggling and navigating obstacles in a desperate attempt to catch some fur. Fortunately for the dogs, she was unsuccessful, but a good time was had by all. :)

standing

Adelaide's great-grandparents from Idaho visited a few weeks ago and brought her this new favorite object: a wooden toy chest engraved with cowboys and Indians! It used to belong to my dad when he was little - such a treasure. She loves to stand at the edge, then squat down, moving toys from the floor and back. As you can see, she's so pleased with the toy chest, she doesn't even want to take a bath.

my little Care bear

Can you think of anything more appropriate for Adelaide to be for her first Halloween than a little pink Care bear?? Well here she is: adorable and happy as ever, dressed up as Cheer Bear, showering us with smiles. (Interestingly, my mom bought that outfit several years before I was pregnant, and the stars aligned perfectly such that it was just the right size!! Coincidence? Or divine intervention? ...) Disgustingly cliche, but you have to admit it's pretty darn cute too!

We took her trick-or-treating to two houses, and she generously shared 'the loot' with Joe!

flower baby

Last weekend we were in Wisconsin for Joe's sister's wedding (congrats Katie & Rob!!) and Adelaide had the privilege of being the flower baby. She carried her flowers (silk, in case she ate them!) through the entire ceremony, "escorted" by her godfather Danny. I have to say, she was just adorable (and thankfully very quiet).

It was also her first chance to meet lots of her aunts and uncles - they were all really excited to see her. For Adelaide, the new environment and all the new people were pretty overwhelming, and she wasn't exactly on her best behavior ... but over time we're sure she'll get comfortable there and soon enough she will love visiting her cheese-head family :)

my little pumpkin

Although she's been increasingly wary of new people, Adelaide is all the more expressive and outgoing at home. She's learning to communicate and to reciprocate affection. She kisses us when she's happy, and crawls over to pull my pant leg when she wants to be lifted up. If I've left her in her room too long, she'll come scooting around the corner, looking for me, and then raise her hand in the air with a smile, as if she's saying "hey! I found you". She makes it clear how much she loves us - not just through smiles and laughs but now with gestures too. She's also figuring out that she can control the things we offer her - she'll gesture towards her water glass when she's thirsty or push at my hand when I give her strange food. She may not use sentences but she surely does converse!

first game

Adelaide is learning about 'object permanence' - and here she is working hard at her favorite task: taking things OUT. She has several bowls, baskets, boxes and she loves to take anything out of them. She will sit and take her rags or blocks or small toys piece by piece out of a bowl, then she yells when it's empty so that we fill it up again. Joe hopes that one day she is as diligent about putting things back IN (so that I don't have to clean up after both of them!!). But for now, it's great watching her discover the difference between full and empty.

mobility

Adelaide turned 7 months this week, and I have a confession to make. She has been crawling for nearly a month, but I've been in denial! To be honest, I was hoping she'd be stationary for a bit longer! When she first started crawling, I would pick her up quickly so that she wouldn't practice ... we didn't have the house ready ... but now we are all "baby-proofed," and it's pretty fun watching her tear across the floor in pursuit of a something new to explore. She is so excited with her new ability to move around that she's actually easier to watch because she entertains herself so well.

solid

This was Adelaide's first week of solid foods (I use that term loosely). Inspired by the book Super Baby Food, we are making our own baby food - at least for the moment. Who needs jars anyway, right?? Adelaide is now a connoisseur of pureed oatmeal, sweet potatoes, and avocados (no, not together). Of course, she is related to her dad, so avocados are the biggest hit. We waited to start her on solids until she was 1. six months old, 2. could reliably sit up by herself, and 3. showed an interest in eating. To be honest, I was hoping for another week or two to get organized but she has her own schedule, and she was ready! (Apparently when babies start eating more often and stop sleeping through the night, it's time for solids.) And you have never seen someone get so excited about an ounce of squishy mush. From the very first meal, she loves to eat, especially when we are eating too. So she gets solid meals twice a day, and so far she puts more down her throat than she spits back out, so we think that's pretty good!

upright

We are back from California, Joe's school year started, and I am almost done with my residency applications!! So much happening. And in the midst of it, Adelaide is now 6 months old (I still can't say it aloud though - somehow 6 months seems way older than 5 months). She is developing quite the little personality - still smiles a lot and is quite content most of the time, but she's learned to be very demanding when she wants our attention. She's developed good dexterity in her hands, and she's interested in everything. It's so fun to watch her explore whatever she can get her hands (and mouth!) on, usually with raised eyebrows and wide-open eyes.

As of the last 2 weeks, she very reliably sits up on her own. She still doesn't catch herself if she falls, but thankfully she doesn't fall often! It is hard to imagine living with absolutely no idea that there are consequences to your actions. Like if you topple over onto your head, no idea that it will hurt, and no reflex to stretch out your arm and catch yourself. Until she figures it out, I'm happy to catch her whenever she needs it :)

smiles all around

Today is our 3rd anniversary - hurray!! To celebrate we went camping at the coast and then toured in-land to Napa Valley for wine tasting. It was a beautiful weekend. Here are Joe and Adelaide smiling on the beach - we have been noticing lately that Adelaide (probably babies in general, but we like to think it's particular to her!) brings out happiness in everyone. Everywhere we go, people smile at us! Pregnancy was a bit like that - women smiled quietly at me a lot, but Adelaide makes absolutely everyone laugh - it seems like everywhere we go, people are happy! And you can see why - she's so cute!! :)

California dreamin'

Greetings from the "bay area"! We're in our second week living in Berkeley, just around the corner from the Grateful Cafe, where all the menu items are raw, local, and sustainably prepared and they ask when you order, "what do you appreciate about yourself?" Classic. There's a festival coming up called "how Berkeley can you be" ...

I'm here to study at the county hospital in Oakland, but we've managed to find enough time to explore San Fran as well - clam chowder at Fisherman's Warf, the cable cars, aquarium, etc. It's beautifully sunny here and we are staying in the huge house of a doctor from the hospital where I am working - when everyone's home, Joe and Adelaide have a cat, a dog, and 3 kids to keep them busy in between adventures.

little bitty laughs

Oh, I have fallen way behind - she changes so fast, it's hard to keep up!

Not only does Adelaide now swim underwater (!!) but she has also learned to laugh - it's few and far between, but when she laughs it is without a doubt the cutest thing I've ever heard (yes, granted, I'm a little biased). I've not been quick enough to get it on video yet, but I do have a movie of her newfound fascination with water glasses - soon to be posted ...

tiny swimmer

Today Adelaide started swimming lessons - so cute! Wendy (her instructor) wears a 'cat in the hat' hat and sings as well as she swims - we had tons of fun - you can see us here practicing our kicking feet - we practiced holding our breath too (babies react by inhaling quickly when you blow in their faces) so that next week we'll be ready to go underwater! At this age they focus more on water safety than swimming skills but we think we'll be ready for the lap lanes pretty soon :)

first camping trip

Last weekend was Adelaide's first backpacking trip - we did the Oregon Coast trail north from Manzanita - it was a great time (despite a bit of rain and some poor planning) - she's such a trooper!! We had so much fun looking at all the gorgeous scenery. She is now a professional "bubble blower" and we have to work hard to keep up with the drool production in order to keep her shirt dry. We were so close to the beach all weekend, but it seemed she was trying to create her own ocean!

movie madness

At the risk of being one of "those parents" (you know who I mean!), I put two (short!) videos of Adelaide on the Flickr, playing her two favorite games. I think she's super cute, but you'll have to see for yourself: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nelson_jam/

don't blink!

Adelaide and I were playing on the floor today, and I left the room for about 0.5 seconds to grab the camera. When I came back, she had rolled over!! I missed it! Thankfully, she was nice enough to throw in a repeat performance so that I could experience the rolling action first-hand :)

Hurray, Tiny Girl!! This is a great first step in the quest for mobility (and I am only half-mourning this movement toward loss of control over my house!).

tiny traveler

Adelaide just returned from her third trip in just three months of life - California, Floria, now DC for her first national Academic Emergency Medicine conference. And of course she had a great time - five whole days of grandma time!! All I can say is, we better take a break from this jet-setting lifestyle - the bank account can't keep pace with this little adventurer :)

a Grandma's touch

Adelaide had a visiting playmate for all of last week, and she had so much fun showing off her favorite toys. Grandma taught her how to grab onto the stuffed carrot and wave it around - fortunately the carrot is soft so it doesn't hurt when she hits herself in the head in search of the mouth! Adelaide says "ooooooo, ooohhh" which I am pretty sure means "thanks for visiting, Grandma - please come again soon!".

dealt a good hand

Adelaide has discovered her hands: She's been studying them intently for several days now (such interesting little items, and they move too! who knew?!?) and she has finally got them up to her mouth in a "that was not quite an accident but I'm not sure I could do it again" sort of way. Now she'll have something besides my arm to drool on :)

Heidi in green

Here we are looking green for earth week - yes I realize that was last week (or was it two weeks ago? geez, time is flying). Adelaide had her two-month check up yesterday - she's 10lbs 3oz now and has grown not quite 3inches. She's healthy and happy and absolutely loved getting shots in her legs - that gave her a rare opportunity to scream her head off, fully justified.

By popular demand, I am working on setting up a Flickr account to post more pictures. Try this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/Nelson_JAM/ or click on the slideshow. Adelaide says: "It's really pretty easy being green" :)

my little fur family

Well Adelaide is busy building her immune system this week (aka - fighting off her first cold) - it's as hard watching your little one suffer as I expected it would be. But she's a champ - hardly any fussier than usual, just more 'nose noises'. To make it easier to breath, I put her up on a foam wedge at night so that she can sleep without snot - as you can see, she likes to share the spot with two bears (they keep her from falling over) - and they are just her size!

awake!

Adelaide's grandparents from Wisconsin visited for a few days over Easter, and she had so much fun taking them on many adventures. We went to Cirque du Solei, all her favorite coffee shops, a tour of Joe's school ... you name it! And she slept through almost every minute. She's quite agreeable and easy to take along wherever we go, but she's quite content to sleep through the sites! Here's a rare awake moment, showing off her big eyes. :)

so strong!

This is part of Joe's favorite Adelaide game: tummy time. He puts his hand under her feet and she'll push against him and scoot her belly forward - making it look like she's 'crawling' across the blanket or up his chest - he's very excited that she's so advanced (sshh, don't tell him that it's just her stepping reflex and she's actually not 6 months ahead of schedule!). Anyway, it's super cute that she works so hard to lift up her head and legs - maybe she knows that she's going to have to get strong if she's going to keep up on family adventures :)

first bath!

Adelaide got her first real (ie not sponge) bath today - and she loved it!! Joe said she curled up in 'womb position' so maybe it felt familiar. Soon she'll learn to splash and then we'll have to take baths away from all the cloth things, but you can see she's pretty content, like always (knock on wood!). :)

My first lesson

Well Adelaide will be one week old tomorrow, and she's already learned so much. And so have we. Last Tuesday was my first venture away from her, to an afternoon class. It was a short class and she slept contentedly on Joe's chest - never noticed I was gone. To my surprise, it was not so easy for me. For the first time, I realized that I am now a "me" not an "us" - I have become so used to constant companionship over the past 9 months, constantly talking to and communicating with the growing person inside me, and suddenly I realized that I was all alone - no one to rearrange my internal organs, no reason to rub my belly, no one to talk to! ... I sat in class blinking hard and sobbed all the way home ... I felt so unexpectedly abandoned. But I learned an important lesson - Adelaide and I are now two separate people, but we still need each other.

10 fingers, 10 toes!

Well for anyone that hasn't heard our exciting news, here's the brief update: Adelaide Marie was born yesterday (March 2) evening at 5:28pm. She is a wonderful 7lbs 5oz, 20 inches long, and so adorable! Her first 12 hours of life were very content - she's had lots of quality time with Dad, Mom, grandparents. We are really happy to have such a precious addition to the family :) - oh and yes, she has a little bit of light-colored hair!

full term!

Well I am 38 weeks today - which means that baby is now officially "full term" - she has missed her chance to be early! How exciting! To commemorate the big day, I woke up with puffy feet for the first time this morning - maybe I'll start 'waddling' this afternoon :) - Otherwise, everything seems about the same as it did at about 32 weeks, except bigger!

Baby has been really busy dancing around in there - I was standing at a checkout counter today while he kicked around (maybe offering an opinion on which flavor drink I bought?) and the person behind me said "Whoa -- I saw that one!" My belly looks quite alien moving on it's own, but those kicks are definitely the best part of being pregnant (well, maybe second best to the baby that we hopefully get to meet soon)!

family yoga

I couldn't go to my regular yoga class today so I converted the living room into a studio. I think it was most enjoyable for Joey who discovered that yoga is a spectator sport --- ("stop looking at my belly!")! Here's the evidence :)

We are all doing great - my belly is bigger and more active every day, which is really fun. I am sleeping more and getting emotional over strange things, but thankfully feeling pretty comfortable - though it feels really strange to have a belly large enough that it sits on my legs! And I think Joe's getting used to the idea that we'll have a new family member pretty soon ... the anticipation is building!

birth plans, part deux

Instead of doing the traditional Lamaze, we took a class in HypnoBirthing, which is more of an approach/philosophy. The name is somewhat misleading as it's not really about being 'hypnotized' but about staying calm and relaxed and not freaking out. The idea is that there is no physiologic reason for childbirth to be painful (there's actually lot of 'data' supporting that). Rather in this culture (not in many others), we create the pain out of fear - fighting against your body creates tension and the tension leads to pain, which makes us scared, more tension, more pain, no progress ... and then you get drugged. So the idea is that if you stay relaxed and work with the natural process, then there's no reason to be afraid, and no reason to be in agony.

In preparing for childbirth, my biggest goal has been to 'forget' all of the things I've seen and learned in delivery rooms. I have experienced an inordinate number of complicated, unpleasant, things-gone-wrong. So I have been trying to get ready for baby in the most un-medical way possible, and part of that means not thinking/talking about all the interventions to 'be ready for' but rather working on positive imagery, relaxation and being excited about my own innate abilities to do something that women for eons have done (without fetal monitors).

That said, no one can plan what a birth is going to be like, and we're open to whatever it brings. Although I've read some great stories about women experiencing birth with ecstasy, I definitely don't expect that it'll be either comfortable or fun, but I am really confident that with Joey's amazing support (and he is amazing, if you don't know!), it will be a positive experience for all 3 of us, no matter what happens :)

gender woes

I had a strange dream last night (I am very unaccustomed to dreaming by the way - this is a new 'treat' of pregnancy that I am sure I could do without, although I am not complaining because at least I sleep fine) - anyway, I was at some sort of medical facility in some foreign and very warm place (Costa Rica maybe?) - they were examining my large belly and said "I guess you know already that the baby is a BOY" - no, I didn't know ... and then I woke up distressed with the decision to tell Joe or pretend to be surprised at his birth. Huumm ... not sure if this means my body is communicating the baby's gender to me while I'm sleeping ... or if it just reflects my growing anxiety about not having chosen a definite boy name. Here are the front runners (in no order), feel free to weigh in:
- Isaiah Anthony
- Cedric Joseph (Joe's favorite - at least the Cedric part)
- Quinn (middle name undetermined)
- I like Everest (per Tia's suggestion) and Gabriel but Joey said no.

Hollywood stars ... a step behind

I learned in the checkout-line headlines yesterday that J. Lo. recently had a baby shower ... a high tea! Naturally I had to read the story and found out that my own tea party shower was far superior to hers :) They had mini hamburgers and green apple martinis ... doesn't even start to compare to this amazing spread of mini sandwiches and individually crafted (and delicious, I must say) tiny treats. Here's a picture - and a belated thanks especially to Pam, Marissa, Eduardo, my mom and Aunt Margaret for hosting such a lovely party - and to Joe, the waiter with a bow-tie :)

birth art

I'm reading a book about a birth class / philosophy called "Birthing from Within" that is designed to help women (and the guys) recognize (and get over) their ideas about birth. The theory is that our society gives us lots of terrible images about the horror of something that is actually quite normal and natural (and not necessarily very painful, if approached in the right way). The book encourages practicing 'birth art' as a way to get in touch with your hidden fears and replace them with positive images. Although I generally consider myself exceptionally un-artistic, Joey and I have done a few projects together and we've both been surprised by how fun it is. So here's my faceless little indigenous clay lady - an image of strength and openness and a reminder to me that childbirth is not something to be feared but a part of the universal human experience.

birth plans

Some of you out there know that we have chosen to deliver with a midwife rather than having an OB, and lots of people ask me questions about that, so I thought I'd clear the air a little ... First of all, no I am not going to deliver at home (at least, I don't plan to!). I don't think there's anything wrong with home-births, I've just seen too many complications and I want the security of being close to all of modern medicine, just in case. The midwives are a hospital-based practice at OHSU and they do all of the same pre-natal care and birth preparation that an OB would do, but they take a different approach. They view pregnancy as healthy and birth as a normal human process (rather than a medical procedure). This means that they approach the birth with the least amount of intervention necessary. A few examples:

• my midwife won't require me to wear a fetal monitor (straps around the belly that monitor contractions and baby's heart rate) unless there's reason to think the baby is in distress
• I'll be allowed to move around - in and out of the tub or shower, walk around, be in a variety of positions (rather than being confined to the bed with my feet in stirrups)
• They won't pressure me to have an epidural except in the occasional case where it's indicated
• I won't have an IV in my arm
• We'll be allowed lots of 'bonding time' and baby won't be 'stolen' right away for measurements and bathing
• the midwife is present to support both the parents throughout active labor, rather than showing up just to 'catch the baby' as an OB would

However, if something goes 'wrong', we'll be in the same birth unit that I would with an OB, and the full operating room, anesthesia, forceps and magic of modern medicine are right around the corner - hopefully just for peace of mind. Midwives aren't for everyone; some people like knowing that an MD is in control to keep them as safe as possible, but I strongly believe that this is something that my body knows how to do, and we want to go through the whole process with as little intervention and as few external distractions as possible. Joey is excited about our birth preparations too and says he is looking forward to being my "birthing companion" (very P.C.).